CEDAR (18th)birthday LOVE<3

i hereby present nikita tiwary the award
for the best bollywood leading actress in
Birthday Surprises!=)-LOL

It was honestly honestly HONESTLY so heartwarming
to see all of my special friends gathered
to celebrate the khan's 18th birthday.

Im sooooooo happy so THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
i share a very deep and unique bond
with each and every girl who came to my house today.
And i've vowed to all of them
We'll be friends for life.
Wherever you will be in the future, whatever you are.
Whether you'll be in nepalese or India or france or Bulgaria(haha),
You'll always be close to my heart.
I cant even express my gratitude through words.
SADELENA, NIKITA, SUNITA, DEEPTHI and the rest who couldnt make it today.
You have no idea how much your presence make a difference in my life.

You've given me the strength to open my eyes,
to open my mind,
to open my heart,
to open MY VERY soul,
To ALL the wonderful possibilities in life.

I look forward to embracing a golden fate,
because with all of you by my side,
Nothing will go wrong.

I'll Love Better.
From the very core deep dwellings of my heart,
thank you thank you thank you
THANK YOU;)

Meh achar tumse pyaar karti hu, sach hai<3

Happy Obese 18!

I have such cool classmates=)
THANK YOU SO MUCH.

1st it was donuts,
Now its sushi(S)

I feel as stuffed as a pig!

Haha.
From the bottom of my heart,
I LOVE YOU PEOPLEE!!!

I'll never forget US.
NEVER.
Im so happy to have met each and everyone of you.
RUTH, LUIZA, ELLYSA, ZIXI, MARIAN, ZHUANGWEI.
my sushi darlingss.
I appreciate everything kayy.
*big hugs to everyone*

Also to everyone else who have grant me millions of birthday wishes,
thanks, thanks and THANKS.

Turning 18,
Im extremely elated to have such awesome wonderful individuals
as friends by my side.
Trust me, my life would be 100000000000000000000000000000x
rotten without all of you.

Thanks for E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G.
i mean it.

And to the SK necklace guy,
I really hope you'll overcome every obstacle in your life smoothly.
Thats my birthday wish.

And thanks for the chocs gift DEEPS
im anxiously anticipating for all the other birthday parts
to follow through alright!-Haha



~I love ALL of you, I love LIFE, I love ME;)~

The END of netball A'div season 2009

We got 4th. YES:)
Im VERY proud of each and EVRY saint netballer.
All of us are in this
and we emerge victorious even if we suffered a defeat during the finals.
Even if we never did manage to clinch 3rd this year.

I WILL MISS NETBALLING SO VERY MUCH.
and i will miss being muscular and fit.
haha but i will definitely not miss being BBQ-ED at all.

All the bittersweet struggles we've endured together
Will never in the least cease to exist in memory.
Because thats what we are forever going to be, Saints Netball 2009.

Yanxiu
Shalene
WenQian
CheuPing
Dawn
XinYi
Lynn
Addy
Margie
Lijie
XinLing
Miss Lin


Thank you so much for blessing me with such golden memories
'GOoooooooo SaaaaAAAAAIINNTSS!'

RJC thrashing

Our 1st defeat yet.
RJC- 62 to 26.
We lost yes.
And somebody said it was expected
Which apparently got the whole team pissed.
I on the other hand have got no comments.
Except that throughout the 1st quarter
I actually really believed we could be the next big team.
Haha which we ARE.
Silly mistakes, you get what i mean.
Next stop, semifinals against ACJC.
We're aiming for 3rd spot.
I'll leave it at there.

Met up with hazy after that match on friday.
Thank god, i felt so alone.
He was so sweet,
He waited for me for one hour plus at kallang mrt platform.
Then he treated me to some tauhuay at srgn interchange
and now he finally knows where i live. haha
that guy walked me all the way to the tenth storey.
Thank you so much awak.
At least he filled up those cracks in my heart(even if abit)
He'll always be a good friend;D
Yes thats what we somehow agreed upon.
Friends.

You're losing me.
Once the feeling's disappeared, i'll never come back.
Good luck=)

Balance of life

Yesterday was a super exciting and brilliant match.
yes we WON again.
and YES we got into semifinals.
TOP 4 A'div Nationals.
The medal is in our pocket=D
We won a medal the day we won TJC.
And im really really proud and happy for the team.

I cant believe we finally sealed our fate.
A medal a medal!
Haha i know i know its not the first time ive gotten a medal
For any netball tournament.
I got one each during both of my Cedar B'div years.
Both for being in top 4 zonals.
But this time the feeling's abit different.
Maybe its because it might turn out to be
the last netball medal i'd ever get in my life.
nevertheless, WE DID IT.
Good job guys!

Nowadays,
Victory always come along in hand with a setback.
Well for me at least.
Have you ever heard the theory upon which
'The Balance Of life' is based upon?
You get the good. and you get the bad.

Oh and lena?
If ur reading this.
Please please i just wana let you know
that im always here.
The president of lena's support group.
i know you're going through hard times too.
If you EVER need company, support,
CALL ME.
i want you to lean on me. lean on me ok?:)

The beauty of friendship.
I get it how one cannot possibly survive through life
Without friends.

Because they're there for you to offer their hand when you're on the ground;)

That fourth victory

We defeated AJC.
That brings us one step closer to a medal.
To being in the top 4 A'div nationals.
All we have to do is make sure we win TJC.
And we wun have to worry so much anymore.
All those crazy intervals, all those night trainings.
It'll be paid off.
We'll get a medal, WE WILL:)

Our victory was MY failure.
I performed TERRIBLY
in the last quarter.
Maybe i let my emotions conquered my mind.
It invaded my mental space
Clawing away at my sense of focus like a venom.
Uncontented till it finally managed to achieve destruction
I saw the netball goal swimming in my vision
I really felt the world swirling.
I couldnt gauge the strength needed to put the shot in.
i released the ball, it flew over the stupid damn hole.

That was how badly i played at Ajc's match last quarter
To make matters worse
Lots of my dear cedar juniors were there.
I heard them encouraging
I felt i disappointed myself, them.
It was just humiliating.

HAIX. and then after it was over,
The feeling of 'rindu ness' washed over me like a menacing tide
I wanted him so badly.
I wanted to hug somebody,
I wanted comfort so around 6plus PM
after a gruelling and tiring day,
i proceeded to make a one hour trip all the way to tampines
Just to seek comfort from one person i've been missing so terribly.

Oh, he made me feel better alright.
For a moment i felt happy again.
Why cant you just be strong for me?

An almost END.

There i was at serangoon bus interchange.
Perched precariously on the railing,
Tears trickling down my cheeks.

People streamed cluelessly pass me,
my face getting more stained by the minute.

He came out of nowhere
while i hastily hid my sorrow.
Asked me for directions,
then offered me with a treat.
"i belanja kopi?"

Haha funny how an innocent psychotic ahpek
Can grant you a moment of happiness.

Ive never been able to stay sad over a long period of time.
My disappointments are usually shortlived.
It'll take ALOT to love myself the way i used to again.

Ive done it countless of times
And i'll try it again.
Erase every single memory,
Start over anew.

I dont think you love me.
Cause if you do,
you'd never let this happen.
Its happening.

I taught you how to love,
you taught me how to grieve.

My love's not perfect. YET.