Heck EMOworld.

Funny mee, i really cant stay sad and emo for too long.


i think im feeling alil bit better now:)
and it warms my heart to see my parents loving me.
I mean i dont feel guilty when theyre being reeaaly nice to me now.

Because i know i've listened to them
to all their rules and commands
despite how unfair i feel they are,
and despite how much my heart hurts to not do things my way.
I could have rebelled,
but i didnt.
Why?
Because i believe one of the most essential values
that a good human being HAVE to possess
is their capability to sacrifice
out of love and respect for the people
who brought them into the world in the first place.



And thats exactly what im gonna do.
Im gonna stay strong so i can become a good person:)



THEREFORE,
I, Nur Fadilah Bte Jubir,
will try my very best to be an obedient loving daughter
and obey my parents' laws!

Howeveerrrr,
with an exception.
i may not be able to break their rules,
but i can always bend 'em.

Haha a significant quote from a very smart and cunning girlfriend lol:p


get up while ur on the ground,
trust me u'll feel more powerful
when u try to run this time around.

Frustrated.

First thing first.


Im not like most teenagers my age..
Im not granted complete freedom,
i cant go out anytime i freaking want to.

So its inevitable,
that in a week, there is a limit to how much i can hang out
especially at night.
Since thats the time my parents are back from work
and when it is especially significant and obvious to them
if im not present at home.

And yes im just damn irritated and angry right now,
because i have been fighting with my parents who have been
complaining excessively abt how i always 'merayap' nowadays.

In the past,
i always try my best to make sure
that they dont get the impression that i go out alot
because i always ensure that im at home whenever they are

i can go out late once in a while
but not freaking everytime
besides i have to go out with friends too
and i have to do alot of catching up with a handful of them


i dont think this is a good thing
arguing with my parents abt this annoying issue
as a daughter i have to listen to them
even if i feel like its unfair,
the way they grant me such limited freedom
when im already reaching adulthood.
But i understand different people have different mindsets on parenting
so if my parents are like that
i have to deal with it.

If if feel like my life sucks because of the way they parent,
then i shall be a better and more understanding one in e future
so my children wont have to feel as bitter as
how im feeling right now

so thats it.
I've made a decision.
Whatever pressure i have to deal with
however impossible it is to meet up with anyone
in the day instead of at night
im not going to risk my responsibility as a daughter
to obey my parents' commands

even if it means i have to forfeit
a great deal of fun memories i can have
in my youth,


I CANT GO OUT AT NIGHT ANYMORE.


And if anyone cant understand or accept that,
then maybe you're not a true friend after all.


Im not looking for someone thats not gonna make me a better person.
So if there is really no other way you can come to terms with that,


you know what to do.

Restless

Damn it, i cant sleep.

Wall.

I feel like im standing in front of a tall looming brick wall

and i cant see the view of the world behind it.

Yes i could climb and take a peek

but if i do that i'll have to go to the top of the wall,

That means there'll be a long nasty drop to the ground.

For either sides of the wall from which i could choose to fall from.



So once i climb, i'll have to jump.

And once i jump, theres no turning back.



I wish i could fly into the sky instead,

but i cant feel my wings:/