Tsk.
Im such an inconsistent blogger.
Or an inconsistent everything for that matter.
I guess when you're too wrapped up in a separate special world
Nothing else matters.
Not to mention,
its been eons since i met up with my dearies.
Hmmm i'll definitely see them soon
maybe after BlockTests1.
So far,
I already claimed 4 public fadilah holidays this term.
and i was late 3 times.
Stretching it?
I think, totally.
RESPONSIBILITY fadilah, comprehend the word.
ouh and i had a minor ankle sprain last thursday!
when we were playing 4 corner captain ball for PE
i know, sucky.
and no one even pushed me!
i had a wrong footing
then i fell backwards like a klutz
at least mr kieu laughed at that silly incident
that was the only positivity
-He was moody the whole pe lesson you see
I'd hate to think that its because im a lousy PE rep=/
netball training got cancelled yesterday
i dont even know whether it was a good thing it did
the opprtunity cost was certainly "expensive"
Alternatively and typically, i grabbed the opportunity to meet up with him
[thanks for the pizzahut]
Everything in the begginning was perfect
and then.
Seems like frequent fights are inevitable.
I absolutely understand the need for arguments in a (bond)
Bond as in Relationship- i hate to use the R word
and im not even in a proper healthy official one
But if this bond involves getting hurt and disappointed over and over agin?
I saw him walking away for the first time yesterday.
Alot of 'firsts' have happened this year
Actions he wun normally dare to do
For fear of hurting my feelings
But looks like its getting more and more ohkay to let fadilah feel like garbage
and less like a girl who a guy would die for
Is it really true that once a guy get the girl,
- once the wooing process is a success
he finally takes her for granted?
And its a definite that im developing feelings up to this point
But looks like its a detriment to my overall social well-being
I will NEVER deny my right to explore possibilities at this age.
and i am absolutely not that naive or gullible a girl
to fall in love easily and settle for one option,
just to regret it later.
I take bonds very seriously.
Its a sacred subject, not a childish teenage game.
No one denied my rights to CHOOSE.
so im definitely not going to stop.
its all about finding the right one.
Lots of realizations have been extracted from this bond
ive experienced heaven,
ive experienced hell.
One thing for sure,
[LOVE] is the ETERNAL solution to EVERYTHING.
And the most highest and significant stage of enlightenment
any human can achieve in his/her life:
is the ultimate/COMPLETE acceptance and love for oneself.
cliche? probably.
But its the truth afterall isnt it?
Therefore, I concluded.
~ That I will [love and respect] myself in a way that nobody else can.
I'll fight till the end cause thats what i am.
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